Day 7

So I went on the last day of the Hmong New Year. It was cool. Saw all the "traditional" performances for competition. It was awesome. We ate some awesome food from my uncle's booth too. Here are some pictures. :D

Day 6: Hmong New Year @ River Center

It was quite packed. Only me and Sia went but we met up with her friends Amy and Mia(Mai) and just hung out with them. Left the house around 1130ish and got there in like 30 minutes. Parking was packed too! I had lots of fun. Here are some pictures of my day. ENJOY! We're going tomorrow as a family. It's gonna be crazy!!

Day 5

So guess what! They cut our lights again! I'm so furious!! Why would they do that? What do they have against us? Jeez, I'm pissed. My brother is gonna call the cops for investigation tomorrow. I can't wait to catch the culprit! So we are leaving our lights the whole time, well just until the snow comes.

Today we went downtown Anoka, MN. It was, let's say, a really interesting experience. Went to a few antique stores and found the coolest things. I know that I'm going to pimp out my room with a bunch of antique stuff. I found this really cute Snoopy and Woodstock phone. I can't believe kids nowadays don't know anything about Snoopy and Charlie Brown. So sad. Here's a few pictures of our trip downtown. We haven't gone everywhere downtown so there will be more pictures to come! ENJOY!

Day 4: Happy Thanksgiving!!

So we had a little late lunch with our cousins and other nieces&nephew. It was so cute. Here's some pictures. At the moment, they're still over and playing. The parents playing poker and the kids playing, well whatever they'd like too! :D

Neyo's "Never Knew I Needed"

Oh by the way, have you guys heard Neyo's "Never Knew I Needed"? OMGee, it's great! Here's a video.

Day 3

So it rained today and rain makes me gloomy. Or more like cloudy days with no sun make me gloomy. I don't know why but it does and I don't like feeling gloomy. It's cold and gloomy. I feel so sad today! Someone has been cutting our Christmas lights on our lawn and today we put out a sign that says, "WARNING!!! PLEASE DO NOT CUT THE LIGHTS!! It will be plugged and you will get shocked!!" We're assuming it has to be kids because the cutting is terrible and all over the place. My sis-n-law(Nyab) thinks that it's probably the neighbor's kid because it's more convenient for her as she comes over, since she always comes over with her scooter; although we don't want to be pointing fingers right now. Nyab says that we should turn on the lights today but we can't because of the rain, DAMN THE RAIN, only for today of course. Other than that I love playing in the rain, getting sick because of rain, and getting to eat all the rice porridge with chicken. Yum, that sounds good right now. I miss mother!!

I started and finished Persepolis yesterday night. Great story about the Iranian revolution and I can't wait to read #2 but then again, I went with Lexa to her English class to watch the movie and I loved it!! Jeez I'm reading the second one for sure! So here is what I wrote as notes as I watched it.
-these kids are so easily influenced by the violence
-there are certain scenes in the book that are so differently shown in the movie
-they way they display the deaths in the movie were quite fast
-the impact of the government on the kids was just crazy!
-the adults are sometimes disturbing
-the war in your backyard would scar you for life. man talk about some real experiences
-the image of war in the movie was so interesting and really fast
-their perception in which the government show the citizens of other countries were quite ridiculous
-her womanhood is all about her relationships and about being in a scary new&different country
-i realize that some psychiatrist are just awful and no help at all!
But that's pretty much what I wrote. Lexa's teacher was pretty cool with having me in class today and I was honored.

Ha. Okay so I wrote this email to the Lao Family in Minnesota about the Hmong New Year. Check it out!!!
"I'm sorry to bring this up or bother you but this really disturbed me. As you know the site asiantown.net, Well I have an account there and I read from this forum that this woman wrote and she wrote about what she was going to be wearing at the Hmong New Year at River Center. It was two very provocative outfits, totally inappropriate for that kind of celebration and family function. I was wondering if it was possible to have a certain Hmong New Year attire. I know that's a major, and very huge, change for the youth but one shouldn't be wearing anything like that to a place where families come together and celebrate the New Year. I find it disturbing and gross. I was thinking maybe, if there was chance, to give those that wear full Hmong attire, a discount at the door.

When I say full Hmong attire, for girls I mean: the regular dress(not the mini), the regular sleeve shirt, etc. and for boys I mean: the vest, the pants, the belt, etc. Whether they want to wear money or the xauv is up to them. Other full outfits are acceptable. I feel we need to make this generation realize how special it is to celebrate this New Year, in which a lot of Hmong people from all around the world has even come to celebrate with us in Minnesota.

I know it's A LOT to ask but take this into consideration. I don't want my children to be going to places where the females expose too much and the males being assumed that he's this and that because of what colors or clothing brand he wears. It's kind of ridiculous.

Thank you for you time and effort."

Day 2

So I finished "Flipped" and it was great! Favorite part is the Basket Boy part of the book. It's a fundraiser for the Booster club at the school and there are 20 boys that are picked by the club. These boys will have a lunch basket full of delicious food and the girls can bid on them and of course, the highest bid gets the a lunch date with the boy. It's so cute because this is when the main boy, Bryce, finally realizes that he loves the main girl, Julianna(Juli). It's super cute. Juli is so confused because she's always liked him since the 2nd grade until Bryce made fun of her retarded uncle this 8th grade year. Everything is "flipped". Oh, I just love it. I mean talk about a little to late right?

So here is Bryce's POV:
   "And since you know what a tree-climbing weenie I am, I think it's pretty clear that I'm willing to do anything to get her to talk to me. Man, I'll dive after her into a chicken coop full of poop if that's what it takes. I'll ride my bike all the stinkin' way to school for the rest of eternity if it means being with her.
    Something. I've got to come up with something to show her that I've changed. To prove to her that I understand.
    But what? How do I show her that I'm not the guy she shinks I am? How do I erase everything I've done and start over?
    Maybe I can't. Maybe it just can not be done. But if I've learned one thing from Juli Baker, it's that I've got to put my whole heart and soul into it and try.
    Whatever happenes, I know that my grandfather's right about one thing.
     I'll never be the same again."
Here's Juli's POV:
  "My mother heard me slamming doors and came to check on me in my room. 'Julianna! What's wrong?'
   I flipped over on my bed to face her and wailed, 'I am so confused!! I don't know what to think or feel or do...!'"
    [...]
   "My dad joined me on the couch and peeked out the window, too.
    'A tree?' I whispered. 'He's planting a tree?'"
    [...]
    "A sycamore tree.
    Bryce finished planting the tree, watered it, cleaned everything up, and then went home. And I just sat there, not knowing what to do.
    I've been sitting here for hours now, just staring out the window at the tree. It maybe little now, but it'll grow, day by day. And a hundred years from now it'll reach clear over the rooftops. It'll be miles in the air! Already I can tell--it's going to be an amazing, magnificent tree.
    And I can't help wondering, a hundred year from now will a kid climb it the way I climbed the one up on Collier Street? Will she see the things I did? Will she feel the way I did?
    Will it change her life the way it changed mine?
    I also can't stop wondering about Bryce. What has he been trying to tell me? What's he thinking about?
    I know he's home because he looks out his window from time to time. A little while ago he put his hands up and waved.And I couldn't help it--I gave a little wave back.
    So maybe I should go over there and thank him for the tree. Maybe we could sit on the porch and talk. It just occurred to me that in all the years we've known each other, we've never done that. Never really talked.
    Maybe my mother's right. Maybe there is more to Bryce Loski that I know.
    Maybe it's time to meet him in the proper light."

Oh, isn't it great! I mean she's giving  him another chance to redeem himself. It's so great. Oh how love starts out young and full of innocence and ignorance. That's amazing. I can't wait to see the movie.

I was listening to Miley Cyrus's "I miss you" song and it made me think of my father. May his soul rest in peace. He passed away on the 28th of October and I felt like the whole Hospice process went too fast. I wish I didn't disappoint him. I mean he said he has forgiven everyone and anyone who has hurt him but I feel like I didn't show him any of my improvements since I've last seen him. I wish I listened to his words and learned more about him. I wish I took the chance to learn about Hmong people and their history and culture and lifestyles. I truly regret many things I should've done for my father. I know it's too late and I really regret that. I think the most important knowledge I'll get from my father is that in order for me, as an individual to become successful in America, I must love myself and befriend those that will benefit me in the long run. He taught me so many things. I must love myself in order to love someone. I must seek a partner that is compatiable(he was really into astrology and the Chinese zodiac) and someone who is successful. Not particularily meaning that my future partner better have a really high degree but a career that he loves doing and is able to support both of us. I must finish college and become the first daughter in the family to achieve and bachelor's degree or higher. He really wanted me to aim for a master's so I'm hoping to get there. I remember being the best kid in the family because I said I wanted to be a doctor but as I grew up I noticed that I didn't have the stomach for any medical-related career. I don't know why but I feel super uncomfortable in a hospital environment. Oh Dad, I miss you so much.

So I was doing my St.Cloud University stuff along with getting my Dell scholarship and I got it. Yes. Thank you so much Dell. I can't wait to go to school. 

Day 1

The first day is Monday. Sorry but I didn't get a chance to get on the computer to write therefore I'm here early in the morning writing this. Well today my niece Alexandria(Lexa) and I watched The Ugly Truth and we both thought it was cute but predictable, as most romantic comedies. I just thought that the doctor dude in there was quite handsome and almost as hot has Jacob Black. Oh, did I tell you I went to go see New Moon too. It was much better than Twilight but I wasn't that amazed. Lexa said it's because I haven't read the books. I told her fine, I'll start on the saga and that's what I plan on doing for these 30 days of no myspace/facebook.

After we watched the movie, we finished the rest of the heart-shaped cake we made last night. I wrote "heart" JACOB on it. My sister-in-law and brother were like, "Who's Jacob?" We girls just giggled. Man I miss being childish. Then Lexa went about doing her homework, me being jealous, started to read. Oh, by the way, I"m reading "Flipped". It's super cute. Guess what!!? I just found out that they're going to making a movie out of it. That's super cool. I mean I never thought it would happen but that's awesome.  Here's the link to plot summary, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flipped. Then came lunch.

So we have a bunch of  venison because of my brother and his glorious winnings of bucks and since we already have some cooked, I decided to make some venison larb. For those who doesn't know what larb is, it is an Asian Cuisine dish made of shredded or grounded meat and many herbs; usually made at parties and ceremonies. As I was saying, I forgot that we used all the cilantro and green onion, so Lexa and I took a trip to County Market. Man, Lexa's driving scared the shit out of me today. She made me almost have a heart attack! Jeez, I even asked if I should drive there! I think it was because we usually don't go to County Market but to Walmart or Cub Foods which is about another 2 miles down the road in the opposite direction. We got our greens and when we went to go pay, I noticed that our cashier was quite cute and he didn't ring me up for my other batch of green onions. I wanted to ask Lexa if I should tell him about the other green onion but we just kept talking to each other about what her dad and her can do today since it's "her" day. I felt so bad, what would have you done? So afterwards, we left to McDonalds to return The Ugly Truth and I was craving some McDonald coffee so I begged Lexa for some and so she bought me some. She got a fries which weren't that yummy. They were too cripsy and too salty. She loved it! So we came back and I finished making my venison larb. It was delicious!

So my brother told me to pick up the kids and I did but I totally forgot that his suburban was parked behind my car so I had to move his car. I've never driven anything that huge in my entire life and when I drove it, I thought I was going to crash into something because it was so huge!! Oh man, if I remembered that his car was behind mine, I would've left the house about 10 minutes earlier. It's okay because nothing was broken and I got the kids home safely in my car. I also let my other niece Cynthia(Sia) drive because she has her permit and wants to drive a lot. You know that feeling of getting to drive because you finally have your permit or license. I could see she had lots of fun. At the moment, she needs to work on her turns and coasting and her peripherals.

After we kids got home, we just watched movies and ate the rest of the venison larb. The kids will only eat venison like that or else they won't touch it. I realized that the kids haven't done their homework so I made them do it. I can't believe there isn't that much homework. Sia's done with her government homework and projects. Enyia just has to read. Mathew had math homework but he only likes to usually do it when his mother is home. Man he's super picky and inconsiderate. He's such a meanie. He's only like that because he's the only boy and gets whatever he likes. But I still love him like any other nephew of mine.

It was late and I wanted to watch Bram Stoker's Dracula. Lexa was like, "Okay, I'll watch it with you." So we led the kids up to the rooms and made them go to sleep. It started out all weird and all but overall, I thought it was kinda lame. Maybe I have to watch again and turn up the volume. We didn't want the movie to be too loud so we lowered the volume to like 14 and couldn't really hear their words. So I was kind of lost in every scene. I think I'm going deaf and that would be bad. Well we just finished so I'm finishing my entry, ready for bed too.

30 DAYS

So, I'm going to be giving up myspace/facebook for 30 days. I read that if you can't give up something for 30 days, that means you're addicted to it. I heard from a lot of people that I'm always on those sites and have no life so I'll be starting this journey tomorrow. It might sound like nothing to you guys but at the moment but I'm a bum at home right now. I need to get back on track and find a job and get a real life. I miss going out and meeting new people. Plus I want to read a lot of books and when the computer is calling out to me like that, it does not make me want to read any of the books. Well here's a song for you guys.


30 days by Never Shout Never

Slices with a Hmong knife

I want to write an image poem and give you slices of who I am.
But first, I must board a plane to Laos
and I must buy a Hmong knife, forged by Hmong hands
from iron out of the belly of a scared mountain
besides fires that consume lush green to fee Hmong mouths,

Then I must visit the village of my birth.
Perhaps the streets of earth and dust (and mud when it rains),
the single-room houses with their bamboo walls and
    bamboo-leaf roofs,
the plates of rice and meat left for spirits of ancestors,
the single spoon shared by a household during meager meals
(the spirits are better than the living)--
perhaps all these things will help me remember
those lost nights when magical words from distant tongues
    cured all fears.

Then I must board a plan to the U.S. and
I must return to Omaha, Nebraska,
where my family first landed after our long exodus from Laos,
where our sponsors taught us how to use sicks, toilets,
    and the TV,
where I almost drowned in our sponsor's pool
and got lost from my parents in a hospital elevator.
Perhaps all these things will help me remember
my parents' half-smiles and empty faces as the were forced
    to become children again.

Then I must drive to Appleton, Wisconsin,
(as my father did only six months after arriving)
where I learned how to speak English and how to forget my
    my native tongue,
where I met my first American friend and my first
    American bigot,
where I played with friends in secret places in trees
that seemed to reach their roots to Laos.
Perhaps all these things will help me remember
the grizzled face of a boy innocently torn my two cultures.

And upon arriving back in Oshkosh,
I will find that knife is dull and I don have
    a sharpening stone
and the traveling has left my face white like my ancestors',
so the poem must wait silently kicking in its womb
beside its growing twin, who hums quietly in Hmong.

--Bamboo among the Oaks by Contemporary Writing by Hmong Americans Edited by Mai Neng Moua

Please comment and tell me what you think about this poem. Thank you for your time.

Benson Cha...

Today was pretty lonely because when I woke up, everyone was at school or work. I felt so lonely. I mean we live in a 4 level split house and it's cold and lonely out the in the country. I can't help but stay online and not be bored but I ended up being bored. I did the usually check up on myspace, hotmail, facebook, etc. and I ended up youtube.

After staying on youtube watching Tim Delaghetto on his vlogs, I started to ponder about how Benson(he's my ex-boyfriend) was and what he was doing. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I watched Minwoo's "Girlfriend" MV about 5 times because that song really describes how Benson felt when I broke up with him. I know that he didn't want us to end at all and I made the decision to end it and now I'm the one doing all the missing.

I've emailed him a few times after the break up but he's never responded back so I'm not too sure if we're even "cool", like what Gwen Stefani was singing in her song, "Cool". Other than listening and watching videos, I ended up watching sad Hmong songs with the lyrics to sing along and it just reminded me so much of how he must have felt about me and how I feel about him right now.

It doesn't hurt when I think about him but I just miss having his company and presence. He was a great friend and a great lover. He has helped me through a lot. He sorta abandoned his family to just be with me. I know that doesn't sound good but at least he was happy when he was with me. I noticed he wasn't that happy with his family but it's just because his brothers were giving him a hard time and they didn't really approve of us. I mean they thought that I would eventually break is heart, ironically I did, and Benson traveling to my place and back to his home would be a waste of time. I don't wanna say that it was a waste of time because he got to know me and my friends around town. He also go to know the town really good too. I mean isn't that a good enough excuse? I don't know.

So today I've been thinking about us and all the memories are rushing to me now. I remember when we were dating, I couldn't really hold down a good memory of us but since we've been apart and I'm so far from him and haven't seen his face for like 2 and half months, all our memories, even the little stupid ones, are all I think about.

This was in April 2009