Something new but delicious!

Today I made BIBIMBAP! It was a spur of the moment but I really want some korean food. I know I didn't have the right ingredients but I used what I could with whatever I had. The paste I made was actually the paste for the Grilled Venison but I used it anyways. The paste consisted of 1 tablespoon of hot pepper paste, 2 tablespoons of soy bean paste, some chopped up green onions, garlic, sugar, and sesame oil. It was quite delicious. Today's bibimbap consist: rice, stir fry ground venison with ginger, chopped carrots, chopped green onions, stir fry cabbage, a cooked sunny-side up egg, fresh chopped ginger, stir fried red onions, and especially the special paste. It was something I've always wanted to do but didn't because I always told myself I didn't have the right ingredients. I'm so glad to have had these veggies and meat available. Here it is!



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First post of 2012

I'm starting a new year with new opportunities for success.

New Year Resolutions:
1)Really Grow my relationship with God
2)Love more everyday
3)Pass all my classes
4)Try to Attend all church events.

♥Esmim

On the brighter side.. I guess...

So it's been like about a month since Xue and I broke up. It has been a very hard and awkward month because I'm still confused at his actions then and now. He says he misses me more than ever and wants me back but I've been thinking a lot about what he's done and what he's said. It all doesn't seem to add up to me. I think that we both should be apart for now because it's the best for the both of us. Yes we'll miss each other and want to be together like in the past but it hasn't helped us much. I feel like we've grown into this familiar cycle of life that we don't want to stray away from but we have to, especially to grow and mature as a person.

I've told him that we should take this time to learn and grow as an individual person and if we want to be together in the end, then so be it. Yes, that sounds corny but that's true right? I mean it's like Serendipity, if fate wants us to be together then let it be.

Leej twg lub neej...

Why do I wake up feeling so empty and hollow inside? Where does the pain go and how can I make it go by faster so I don't feel it at all anymore? Some say I'm suppose to feel this way but I don't want to anymore...

So this is how Bruno Mars felt when he sang "It Will Rain"

I realized that yes it's going to hurt and yes you're going to feel like crap after breaking up but we just have to move on, right? You don't see it but you can feel all the deep darkness without their presence or acknowledgement around you. You do feel like rain is pouring on you (or out of you) because of all the heart heaviness you have within. You feel like the world has gone upside down and you can't breath right anymore. You will feel miserable knowing that you will not be able to see/talk/listen to them and the reason why it is because they've become so intertwined into your life and they've become a habit. You can cry and scream and think about everything that you could have done to make it better for the next couple of days and realize that in the end, a decision was made and you have to live with it.

One makes life decisions all the time and this just happen to be another one. This is something that both of you have to live with and endure. I feel like the decision I made effected not only both of us but I would have to live with my decision MY ENTIRE LIFE. You can leave whenever you please but I can't once the choice has been made.